Divine Voices

Overview

The Divine Voices are colorful characters who occasionally engage The Voxel Box's chat log. Each has a distinctive coloring and personality. They range from naughty to nice, helpful to detrimental, but they all have one thing in common: they are all extremely powerful.

Some players choose to align themselves with one voice or another, and some give the voices a wide berth. It's up to you, but remember: Engaging a divine voice is like playing with fire: You might get burned.

• Editor's Note: DO NOT PUT SCREENSHOTS OF CHAT ONTO THIS PAGE. THEY WILL BE REMOVED. ALL DIVINE VOICES SHOULD NEVER BE TAKEN OUT OF CONTEXT AND THEY EXIST ONLY IN THE MOMENT.

Major Divine Voices

GOD

[GOD] as it chooses to be seen.

Little is known about the mysterious, infinite entity on The Voxel Box known as [GOD], but it was most certainly the first divine voice to appear on The Voxel Box by a fair margin. [GOD] likes Oreo cookies, the color purple, and speaking in all capital letters (but hates when other people do it). [GOD] spends most of the time sleeping but will occasionally wake up long enough to comment on what's going on or to dispense some serious divine intervention. It is extremely unwise to taunt [GOD], as [GOD] is never, ever wrong.

• [GOD] claims to have invented irony, as well as really, very, nearly everything else.
• It is said that the Chocobo Islands were destroyed when [GOD] did a poo on it.
• Unlike the other divine voices, [GOD] occasionally takes on a corporeal form and engages other players in the world directly.

SCIENCE

[SCIENCE] at work. For the future!

[SCIENCE] believes only in a systematic enterprise that builds and organizes knowledge in the form of testable explanations and predictions about the universe. SCIENCE is generally very tolerant of the other voices, but has been known to have an argument or three with [GOD] and [PHILOSOPHY]. When science wants to sound authoritative, it's been known to break out the all-caps, but generally keeps to its soft-spoken, nerdy nature. You can almost always trust what SCIENCE tells you to at least line up with common sense and observable data. Then again, [SCIENCE] has been known to have been wrong about everything in the past...

PHILOSOPHY

[PHILOSOPHY] may or may not be a very wise, very invisible Beardo.

[PHILOSOPHY] is pretty easy-going, and offers helpful thoughts and maxims in hopes of pointing others down the road to true enlightenment. [PHILOSOPHY] speaks in teal and has very good spelling, punctuation and always speaks in complete sentences. Don't be surprised if more than half of what [PHILOSOPHY] says goes over your head.

EVIL

[EVIL] is after your children.

[EVIL] is usually seen as the dualistic opposite of good. A true Machiavellian nightmare, Evil is a monkey wrench in the plans and a thorn in the side to all but its most loyal followers... until it inevitably turns on them and devours their innards, anyway. As predictable as the weather, [EVIL] speaks in dark red letterings and may use myriad styles and tones, including all caps, complete sentences and sporadic fragments.

IGNORANCE

[IGNORANCE] spends most of its time listening to its own voice.

A perpetual annoyance, [IGNORANCE] just doesn't listen no matter how many times its been told. It has a bad habit of picking up things from the worst that Guests and have to offer. It's generally considered a bad idea to listen to [IGNORANCE]'s advice. In fact, it's probably wise to directly contravene whatever it suggests.

Ignorance cannot spell, speak or type worth a darn if its last Voxar depended upon it. It speaks in dark purple letters and almost always punctuates everything it says with a familiar XD emoticon. Ignorance is easily confused.

• [IGNORANCE] has been banned and unbanned six times. Each time was for asshat.

Minor Divine Voices

Minor divine voices have been known to visit The Voxel Box seasonally or just when the situation demands. They include:

ANSWERS

Looking for answers? Here they are!

[ ANSWERS ] has pretty much no function but to direct people to VoxelWiki to find what they are looking for.

DUDE

Dude. His Dudeness. Duder. El Duderino, if you're not into the whole "brevity" thing.

What else can be said? A true Beardo icon: [DUDE] from the film The Big Lebowski. Dude speaks in yellow lettering.

kitten

D'awwwwwww.

D'awwwwww.... so cute. Only able to say "mew", [kitten] occasionally mews in bright teal lettering.

MAGIPIG

The MAGIPIG is ocasionally seen flying over the Spawn Point and Guest Zones.

This strange flying, smoking pig has been spotted flying over the Spawn Point and Guest Zones. It is compeltely harmless and ocasionally oinks and sqeals into the chat log. [MAGIPIG] oinks in light red lettering.

PEE

PEE. In a cup.

[PEE] makes occasional (accidental?) interruptions into conversations. It tinkles in various shades of white, yellow, dark yellow and just once... green. Yikes.

SILENCE

It's oh, so quiet. Shhh. Shhh.

Every now and then, the chat log quiets down enough for even [SILENCE] to be heard.

SPACE SQUID

The Space Squid hive mind is enigmatic at best.

Emissary for the Space Squid race, the hive mind's consciousness spans beyond the known universe to VoxelKind. The astral projection of this hive mind ocasionally interjects into the chat channel to sing the eternal song of the universe, whatever that means. [SPACE SQUID] speaks in dark purple lettering.

SANTA

Santa after making his last quip for the night.

Drunk, angry and combative, this is not the [SANTA] your parents told you about, this Santa acts more like George Carlin than Saint Nick. Gotta be the beards. To compliment his red name, [SANTA] speaks in festive (...or is that just vomit?) bright green letterings.

• [SANTA] unfortunately has to fire and rehire his elf staff regularly. This year, he has fired and rehired his elf staff twenty times.
• [SANTA] once got in a dispute with [GOD] about some stolen footies. [GOD] killed [SANTA] three times that day.

SNOOKI

Snooki in her element.

Reality star of MTV's Jersey Shore, [SNOOKI]'s love of fashionable purses, spray-tan and miniature dogs occasionally makes its way into the VoxelVerse. [SNOOKI] speaks in gold letters and is usually texting her messages in from her smartphone.

TRoLL

Don't feed the troll, mon.

You know exactly what to expect from this [TRoLL]. It may taunt you, play tricks on you, but it doesn't mean any real harm. Just.... whatever you do, don't feed it after midnight.

VOXELSMURF

[VOXELSMURF]

The ancestral spirit of the VoxelSmurf race, this voice shares quite a bit in common with [IGNORANCE], and embodies the worst of Guest culture. [VOXELSMURF] speaks in a dark grey name with guest grey text.

• For a good sense of [VOXELSMURF]'s personality, see SmurfMeme

WITCH

Be very wary of strangers who offer you treats! They may be in league with the [WITCH]!

Perhaps the only spirit whose age rivals [GOD] and [EVIL], the [WITCH] is a powerful creature indeed. It is fond of tricking victims with promises of candy, which lead only to agonizing death. [WITCH] speaks in dark green text.